Vas Prime and the Nanobots of Love

The metal shackles held my wrists tight against the arms of the chair and my ankles against the front legs.  I was naked of course, as is the nature of these things and the cold morning air coming in from the window made me look–well–less impressive.  She stood before me in all her naked glory, the blond from last night now transformed into her–long flowing black hair, big curves and big tits and big attitude and the trademark eye patch covering her left eye.  She had my cane in her left hand resting slightly on it, right hand on her hip, head tilted slightly upwards, that arrogant smirk of hers–oh how many times I’ve killed her just for that look.
                “Ha!”  She barks in that gravel voice of hers “Bet you didn’t expect to see me!”  It was hard to hold back an arrogant smirk of my own.  All was going exactly how I wanted it.
                “Actually sweetheart,” I say calmly, “I knew it was you eight hours ago, as soon as I tasted your vaginal fluids on my lips!”  A flash of anger across her face but she pulls it back, desperately clinging to the superiority she thinks she has over me.  “Glamour or no glamour your taste is–well–unmistakable.”  She adjusts her eye patch and tosses her hair over her shoulder where it cascades down her back like fluid.  She’s hot by god, but evil as all fucking hell.
                “It matters not,” she tells me, “for I have you where I want you!  The great and powerful Vas Prime shackled to a chair about to be run through with his own sword!”  On cue, she twists my cane at the handle, releasing the casing and revealing the sword inside.  The sword I’ve killed her with many times.  “Oh how the mighty have fallen!”  She swings the sword all around her, moving with it in almost a ballet, twirling and twisting, dancing with it.   She lunges forward at me, swinging my blade upwards, narrowly missing my cock and brings it to a stop right under my chin so the blade is pointed at my throat.  I can’t help but chuckle, how much practice she must have put into that little display.  Such dramatics!
                “Oh Lilith, my dear,” I say.  Our eyes are locked, eyes so black they must echo her soul.  “I knew your version in Earth 282 sent a message to you through the dimensional sea, I saw her do it right before I stabbed her through what all your versions claim is a heart.  All is going to plan!”  She laughs but I can see the nervousness behind it. 
                “Fool, it matters not!” she screams, “For I have the upper hand.  I have Jonas Vassago, multi-verse protector right where I want him!  Prepare to die, Vas.” 
                “Silly woman!” I laugh at her. “Your insatiable lust for me has been your undoing once again!”  She flinches suddenly, free hand going to the sudden pain in her abdomen.  “You forget I spent time on Earth 187, the nano-verse!  My testicles hold housing units for nano-sized hunter-killer assassins!  Do you feel it my dear?  Nano-assassins ride my sperm armed with pint-sized napalm bombs!  They just took out your vile ovaries!  They’ve laid waste to your uterus, that treacherous beast!”  She drops to one knee, still clutching my sword.
                “No you bastard!” she barks in pain.
                “Yes but why bring my father into this now?”  She lets out a high pitch scream and drops fully on the ground, my sword skittering away from her.  I do believe they just took out her lower intestine. 
                “Do you feel it?  DEATH BY SPERM!”  They go for your lungs and heart now!”  She’s writhing on the ground now, not much different from how she was writhing in my bed last night.  “Did you truly believe that you could catch me so unaware?  You forget who you are dealing with my dear.  I am the first of the Vas, the first to jump the dimensions.  I have trained countless versions of myself.  I’ve gathered over a thousand of myself to save the multi-verse!  Did you truly believe you could simply seduce me and run me through?  I’ve had sex with over eighteen versions of you, are you really that daft, woman?”
                “You bastard!” she screams over and over.  I do believe I will have to revisit old Nano-Vas and thank him.  I was so reluctant when he offered this unique defense weapon.  I was wary at having my sack flayed open and my testicles sliced in two–for godsake those tiny bastards had to pin me down with cables, I felt like Gulliver!  But it has obviously worked for dear Lilith of Earth 786 rolls on the ground screaming, black goo I can only assume is her liquefied innards are running out every orifice. 
                Suddenly she goes rigid and flame burst out from inside her, quickly engulfing her and spreading to my five thousand dollar suit lying on the ground. 
                “GOD NO!”   I feel the pain as my suit is engulfed.  I love that suit!  The flames from there move quickly, engulfing the furniture and drapes and too soon I’m surrounded by flames.  I test the shackles again but they hold true to their function.
                “Well shit…”

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