Zombie Train To Hell!


            I have to hand it to the guy next to me, and if he’s a little sober when we let off I’ll thank him for it, but he doesn’t snicker with the two of them as I die a little more inside. 

            The train shakes and rattles as it begins to ride along the rickety path.  I try to lean back and read, but that tormenting laugh continues on in front of me, and eventually I slap the book down, perhaps a little to harshly as the two of them stop their jokes for a second before resuming again even louder.  The guy next to me seems to be drooping even lower, and he’s started to drip a small puddle of drool just below him.  I tap him on the shoulder, just as a courtesy, but he just gives me another inarticulate mishmash word which I take as him still being alive and awake. 

            I close my eyes, trying to close out the goings on around me, but it just seems to get louder.  Tim’s laughing at everything she says, stupidly, like a jock without a clue, and with my eyes closed I start to imagine the two of them escaping to the tight restroom and going at it.  I won’t be getting any sort of rest on this trip.  I look to my seat partner who has completely rested his head on the seat in front of him, and then he lets out a viciously loud fart. 

            Immediately Amy jumps up and stares back at me angrily.

            “What did I say, Josh?  God, you’re soo disgusting!  Oh my god, that smells like death!”  She begins coughing and a small part of me thanks the slob next to me again.

            “Oh, what’d I tell ya!  That guy can clear…oh, shit you’re right.  Man, Josh, that just ain’t human.”  Tim gets up and starts wildly flailing his arms as if the scent is chasing him.

            “It wasn’t me, it was him.  And I’m not that…oh”  I finally smell it, and it’s the worst thing I’ve ever smelled in my life.  Like barfed up curry in a sewer of months of piled up waste and garbage. 

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